Thank heavens for Chef Boyardee as well.
Yes the drought is over.
I thought I should be as effusive in my appreciation as I was in my lamentations.
I feel a tone poem coming on.
Glad you like the clipping.
With your moniker it was a no brainer.
You may want to try an army surplus store for ample supplies.
Care to supplement your thumbnail?
Ikea?, say nay noble sir. This is a job for Ethan Allen at the very least. Where is Corinthian leather when you need her, ur it I mean it?
The drought is over.
Come over red rover.
Mr. may I?
Ode To A Box of Tape
The tape is in the mail.
I exclaimed what the hale?
With my luck this can't be me especially with packages three.
But sure enough on that fateful day.
I received a UPS email instead which said
"Please wait another day. Your shipment is in route and we will be sure to be there on a certain
Tuesday'.
What can brown do for me? Deliver safely my packages three. Keep them dry. and watch the afternoon sun.
I do not want my TP tapes done to a golden brown....
What can you do to me?
So home from my appointments I flew careful not to break wind or the speed of 15ips sound.
I rushed to the corner of our entry and peaked around
The corner (to find on the little platform I provided to keep the tapes above the porch floor so chilly)
I found three conspicuous boxes.
I grew giddy and sill...ier than normal.
A word I am rarely associated with.
I was so excited I almost pithed.
But to my horror I also spied
A severely dented carton.
I almost cried.
Forsooth
Forthwith
Boy now I was really pithed!
All this money all this time.
Could Brown be charged with some heinous crime?
Man handled was swell compared to box handled oh hell
hath no fury like a listener scorned.
I rushed to the pantry and grabbed a blade.
Perhaps I should wait until I was less dismayed but NOOOOOOO.
My hand trembled as I clutched the knife.
One false slice and my tape might need to be spliced.
The Ronco mince-o-matic came to mind, but that's a story for another time.
Now I tell you all the rest; as best I can.
Just as I was set to parry,
My mind leapt to greater horror.
The situation might be further antagonized if the knife I used was not demagnetized!
( OK I know that was lame, you try to rhyme something with magnetize.
This is poetic license in action!)
Dropping the knife in mid swing I did what I thought was the only prudent thing and ripped the tape off with my teeth.
Icky sticky tape syndrome was not a worry as I had previously brushed flossed and gargled in a hurry.
A drooler I am not.
But if I suddenly sneezed, what about human snot?
(Again I digress)
It was truly a miracle that the tapes even made it to the correct address.
Anyway,
The tape removed I raised the box flaps up, wheels down my aviator jargon still around
did not dissuade me from my task to see if my TP presentation case had a nasty gash.
But it was safe no need to worry.
The bubble wrap saved the day although most of Mr. Bubbles had seen a better day.
Popped and deflated they may be but only slight corner compression on the TP presentation box was all I could see.
A happy ending you might believe, but my lack of luck won't let me be.
For now with TP tapes in hand
Which RTR machine to buy is my next plan to hatch.
But in the meantime I sit and spin each reel of tape upon my furry pointed chin
at precisely 15ips and wonder of the glory of the master sound when to finally receiving my dream tape machine I get around
To.
The End
